Report: The Broken Hardys Condition Cured by the Smell of Money

Broken Hardys Cured

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For over a year Matt Hardy suffered from an unexplained condition known simply as being “Broken” that caused him to speak with an unidentified accent, his hair to puff out wildly, and to think his entire family was part of an action-adventure series.  Before long, his brother Jeff also contracted a version of the condition and both would seemingly deal with it for the rest of their careers.  Then miraculously enough, both were seemingly cured after meeting with WWE COO Triple H who apparently gave off the scent of money.

As the Hardys made their return at WrestleMania 33, many wondered how such an unstable condition would work in the Universe of WWE, how they could work with likes of “MeekMahan” and “The Man with 3 H’s” as Matt Hardy referred to them; it appeared right away that something had changed as Matt and Jeff looked more like the duo we knew from the late 90s and early 2000s, not from the Broken Universe we had known in recent years.  As it turns out, the geniuses at WWE were able to pinpoint that “Broken” condition subsided as the scent of money became stronger and stronger.

Our spies from undisclosed locations revealed that as the Hardys were presented with grand sales projections for their retro merchandise to celebrate the return of “The Hardy Boyz” from the Attitude Era followed by an initial run around the country with the Hardys appearing on WWE shows for the first time in years.  As the aroma of more and more money filled the room, the Hardys seemed to snap out of their Broken state and began to offer their own ideas for backing up the proverbial “money truck,” a vehicle their former home at Impact Wrestling did not provide.

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Finally, Triple H himself presented a future plan that would see Matt Hardy become “Broken” all over again, but this time within the WWE Universe – a bigger, wealthier Broken Universe – the idea completed the containment of the condition.  So now the questions have been answered – how Matt Hardy went from “Broken” to giving interviews like nothing ever happened.

And they say money can’t fix everything…

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